Where we stand

“Sometimes I wonder if you like seeing me this way. Why else would you do this to us over and over again?” I choke forward, passed the lump in my throat. “I just don’t understand, Daniel. I thought you were happy?”

“Why were you going through my messages?”

He looks at me like I’m the one who did something wrong, and I can’t for the life of me help the humorless laugh that escapes my lungs. He’s chatting up girls on the web and I’m the one who did something wrong for finding them? God. I can’t believe him.

“First of all, I’m not the one that has to defend herself right now, you are. But just so you know, I didn’t go through them purposely to snoop, they popped up when I was borrowing your computer”

“It’s just a conversation, Mia. Nothing else, I swear”

He takes a step forward, his hands reaching for me, but I take a step backwards before he can touch me. I don’t want his filthy hands anywhere near me. I don’t even want to see his face anymore.

“Just pack up your stuff and get out, Daniel. We’re through”

I turn to walk away when he clasps a hand on my shoulder. ” No, I love you. Please, Mia. It was just a conversation. Don’t end us over something so stupid”

I whirl around then, his words lighting my blood on fire. “Something so stupid? How is you telling another girl that you want to fuck her a stupid reason? It seems pretty reasonable to me”

“But I didn’t fuck her. That has to count for something”

That humorless laugh threatens to break free again. How can he even think that will make it right? He wanted to fuck another woman, whether he did it or not becomes mute. He still wants to be with someone else. He should be happy, because now he’s free to sleep with whomever he wants.

“It really doesn’t, Daniel”

“So this is where we stand, huh? You’re leaving me because I flirted with some woman on the internet?”

“It wasn’t just flirting. You were planning to meet her today. And it wasn’t just some woman, it was several” I’ve tried to keep my tears at bay the entire conversation, but I just can’t hold them any longer. They fall freely now. It just hurts so goddamn much. we’ve been together for years, and this is how it ends. God.

“Mia” Daniel whispers, reaching a hand up towards my face, but again I take a step away.

“Just go. Please” I sob.

He turns, takes a few steps before stopping again. He looks at me from over his shoulder one more time, almost as if he’s checking to see if I’m going to stop him. I won’t. I wonder if he realizes it, because after a few seconds he turns again and leaves my life.

Yes. This is where we stand when all he could see when he looked at me was his own reflection rolling down my cheeks.

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