On the edge

The quietness of the woods used to offer me peace and quiet. The cliff right above our small town’s rushing river used to offer me comfort and clarity. Tonight it’s offering something else. 

“Useless bitch”
“No one likes you”
“The world would be a better place without you”
“Why don’t you do us all a favor and quit breathing?”

Their words echo around in my head over and over like a broken record. Their voices are the first thing I hear when I wake up in the morning, and the last before I fall asleep every night. I’ve tried silencing them, but their voices grows louder every time I try to drown them out.

I wonder what I did to make them hate me that much?

I take a wary step forward, the tip of my shoe sticking out from the edge. I peer into the deep blue water coursing beneath me. Just one more step and it will all go away. I just have to move my feet a little and I won’t feel anything anymore.

What a relief that would be – to not feel anything.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe the world would be a better place without me. Maybe they’ll feel relief too if I stopped breathing tonight?  Tears presses forward and trails down my cheeks, making my vision blurry and unclear. There is a crushing pain in my chest, like someone has plunged their fist into my chest, wrapped their fingers around my heart and squeezed. A sob escapes my lips as I move the other foot towards the edge until all my toes are over the edge of the cliff.

I just have to lean forward and gravity will do the rest.
________________________________________

Her body is found two days later, and when the police search her room they find a note with only one sentence.

“Maybe the world will be a better place now”

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